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April 26, 2020

US FARMERS DESTROY CORONAVIRUS CROP, GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO LEAVE ILLEGAL ALIENS UNTOUCHED ON FARM

A number of farmers, as per the WSJ, are destroying perfectly marketable crop of expensive berry including Strawberry and lettuce because “you don’t want to see the crop rot and suffer” as demand has simply evaporated.  But rights groups are up in arms. Activists are upset that perfectly healthy illegal aliens and families, whose assistance and presence was critical on the rural landscape are simply being left alone. Farmers are going out of their way to break the bond between the crop and the alien harvester.

“It’s a SLAP on the face of the alien community. All through the decades American farmers tacitly agreed to the syncretic relationship between the [...]

 
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April 26, 2020

INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS ON F1 VISA BEGIN LOSING THEIR CREDIT CARDS ENMASSE

As delinquency rates for credit card loans increases to a multiyear high, credit card companies including capital one, synchrony and discovery are gloating that their analysis was right all along. “When did we ever expect these people to be able to pay back?” said an industry executive on the condition of anonymity. “Now based upon how well our predictions and interpolations were, all of us should be able to get some real jobs on the Wall Street whenever that is going to be. Noone knows when and if card companies are going bankrupt – See there is one group still paying in! In the meanwhile, I’m going to tweak my resume.”

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April 24, 2020

LYSOL NOW COMES IN POD FORM FACTOR FOR EASY INTAKE

“We have always been about the convenience of our customers from all over the United States. We understand in this pandemic the general public are already up to their necks with fluid intake. So the most obvious thing for us to do was to offer the same functionality against the virus in a pod form,” said a company official baking sandwiches for a company brunch. “This lot here is for a standard taste test”, he added while he took liberal puffs out of the complementary e-vape gadget that also allowed you to intake more in vapor format. “This add on is free because customers cant really get enough of the famous LYSOL odor munching on [...]

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